In the next 15 minutes I will be waking up the rest of my family so we can head to Cincinnati today for Landon's ear. This will be his 6th trip since he has been born. Every trip I'm always nervous even though the same things are discussed. However, this trip there will be something different to discuss. It isn't something I like to share publicly because I feel embarrassed about it. I will be asking about his speech. He currently sees a speech therapist here at home and he is very vocal and says a few words. He isn't talking as much as he should be for his age. It breaks my heart when I see kids his age or even a month younger able to form a sentence. I work with him between his speech therapy visits and I just can't understand why he isn't talking.
I have talked to people with children who have Microtia and they did say like with any child that every child is different and he will talk eventually. I try to stay optimistic and have faith in due time he will talk. However, I do think it will be in Landon's best interest and ours to see if we can also meet with a speech therapist who knows how to work with kids like Landon. We may not see one today but for our next trip we should be able to.
The fact that my two year old can't always communicate does break my heart. It also worries me. When he is three he will get to transition out of First Steps (our early intervention program) into preschool. I worry that the school here may not be able to help him. Then that worry just leads to more thoughts: "Are we in the right town?" "Should we move to where he can go to school with others kids who have a hearing impairment?" "Am I selfish for not seeking more help?" "Am I being a good mom to my child who has a 'disability'?" That last one, I know I shouldn't even think it but it does come into my mind.
I know God has a plan for Landon. I know God will use him in ways I could never imagine. I know God knows when Landon will talk. I know God is in control. I have faith. I have hope. I love Landon so very much.
The two verses and quotes below are perfect for me for today and for the days to come as Landon and our family continue on the journey of his Microtia.